So far we have discussed Brendon Burchards 4 first habits of High Performers (Seek Clarity, Generate Energy, Raise Necessity, Increase Productivity). Today, I share with you #5: Develop Influence. Before we dive into the practices of becoming a more influential person, let’s start with what it means to be influential and what makes high performers more influential than most.
According to Brendan Burchard, he states in his book that “having influence” means: the ability to shape others peoples beliefs and behaviors as you desire.
What does that look like? How do people shape beliefs and behaviors?
They just ask for what they want more
According to studies referenced in the book the most simple way to get someone to follow or buy-in to your idea is to ask them. Many studies show that people are more willing to say yes up to three times as often as people thought they would. And other studies show that people overestimate at to which point they will be judged for their ideas. So, it’s simple. The people who ask for what they want have two things in common that are highly correlated to high performance – They are clear on what they want and are willing to take a risk that will them learn and grow.
They give and do not look for anything in return
High performers have a giving mindset. They rarely give and ask for something in return. They are constantly looking to find ways to give to others.
They are a champion of the people
Appreciating people is the first step to becoming a champion of the people. The second and more difficult step for most is learning about others with whom you lead, work with, or our friends with. By understanding their passions and goals you can beyond appreciating them, and become their champion.
Now, think about the most influential person in your life? When you come up with that person ask yourself these questions:
- What, specifically made each person so influential to you?
- What was the greatest lesson each person taught you about life?
- What values or traits did they inspire you to embody in your own life?
You most likely will find that they share some of the same qualities discussed above. To become like that person I share with you three helpful practices that you can take action on to start to be more influential:
Practice One: Teach people how to think
No matter if you are a leader of a large organization, individual contributor, or just simply a human being, we all have the ability to teach someone how to think. The good and bad thing is that there is no right or wrong way to teach someone how to think because each one of us sees the world in our own way. This presents a challenge for trying to influence or change the way someone thinks about something. An easy way to do it is by using a phrase like the ones listed below:
- Think of it this way
- What do you think about
- What would happen if we tried
- How should we approach
- What should we be paying attention to
By using phrases like that you are effectively teaching others how to think and influencing their behaviors by opening their perspective. To further help you think about ways to influence others, ask yourself questions like this:
- How do you want them to think about themselves?
- How do you want to them to think about other people?
- How do you want them to think about the world at large?
Practice Two: Challenge people to Grow
No surprise here, but high performers love a challenge. It is so deep rooted in their habits and behaviors that they easily find ways to challenge others. They typically focus in three areas when trying to challenge someone:
- By giving feedback, direction, and high expectations to live up to the best version of themselves. Here are some ways to challenge others characters in a non-direct way:
- Ask people, Looking back, do you feel you gave it your all
- Are you bringing the best of you to this situation?
- What values were you trying to embody when you did that?
- Asking people how they treat and add value to others is a way to challenge their relationship with others. High performers believe in teamwork, and treating everyone with respect. They tend to say comments like this in social settings or 1 on 1:
- Listen to one another more
- Show each other some respect
- Support each other more
- Push people to add value whether you are having a good or bad day. This is not a one size fits all approach. Depending on the person you should tailor your conversation with them so you can help them add the most value in their own way.
Practice Three: Role Model the Way
High performers spend most of their days thinking about how to be a role model to others. They have a laser-focused intention on how they can act in a way that helps others become who they want to be, and help them achieve specific outcomes. To become a role model, you can use these thoughts and questions below:
- If I were going to approach my relationships and career as an even better role model, the first things I would start doing are……
- Some who really needs me to lead and be a strong role model right now is….
- Some ideas on how I can be a role model for that person are……
- If ten years from now, the five closest people to me in my life were to describe me as a role model, I would hope would say things like
If you felt like these were helpful feel free to purchase the book here or check out this blog, podcast, and website here for other helpful insight on living your best life. Remember, making the choice to read through the practices is the first step. The second step is putting action towards implementing them into your day.
Now, Wake Up! It’s Day One.